


surrender

by kcsantos



Category: The Poppy War - R. F. Kuang
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, also more emotional than intended, but you gotta do what you gotta do, this is basically no plot just excuses of scenes to write some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:02:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27897256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kcsantos/pseuds/kcsantos
Summary: Was it the Phoenix’s fire burning inside of her or was it everything she felt?
Relationships: Fang Runin/Yin Nezha
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	surrender

**Author's Note:**

> **surrender**  
>  /səˈrɛndə/  
>  _noun_  
>  1\. the action of surrendering to an opponent or powerful influence

To those that did not know him, inside the cell the Young Marshal looked no less a general than he did across the battlefield. But those who knew him could see it, not defeat exactly but a bone deep exhaustion. And no one knew him better than Rin. She could see so much more. The shadow on his almond eyes. The slight drop of his shoulders. How he would breathe deep and release it very slowly, a deep sigh, a tired substitute for a plea that he would never make.

For all their threats of killing him, in the end they accepted his surrender. It had been Kitay’s decision and it had been hers as well. She could not kill him, no matter how many times she had tried, when it came down to it she couldn’t. And so when Kitay suggested they kept him as a prisoner to use his knowledge of the government, she had no objections. Venka had snorted and taunted them, a front for her true feelings as much as they had their own. Kitay had been the first one to visit him. A stack of _his_ letters on hands, politics and economy as his excuse, and when he came back a few hours later they had a meeting in which none of them comment on how weird it was to use his office and his advices and not have him there.

A couple of days later, Rin dreamed of him. She woke up feeling anxious even though she could not remember the dream. Going back to sleep had been in vain, after tossing around for what felt life hours she got up and made her way over to him.

Outside was eerily quiet and dawn was going to break soon but the prisoner was still awake. Neither of them had gotten any sleep. Rin felt wide awake despite how tired her body was. Standing on the other side of the cell looking at him, she felt uneasy. The moonlight coming from the small window partially illuminated him, it touched the unscarred side of his face reminding her of an apology a long time ago in Khurdalain. There would be no apologies now, that she knew.

“Hello Rin,” said Nezha. Sitting on the floor, back to the wall, hands unbound. A chain on his left ankle was attached to the side wall. “I was wondering when it would be your turn.” So Venka had come as well but kept quiet about it, maybe ashamed of being sentimental. Rin certainly was.

She opened the cell and went inside. Immediately Nezha got up, wary. Looking at him so guarded, Rin felt vindicated. She enjoyed the effect she had on him, a reminder that she could kill him if she wanted to. Being close to him brought the dream back and a faint pain pierced the scar on her back. Rage, hot and familiar, came to her. It was so easy to hate him. The Rin from the dream was stupid and didn’t know shit. She _hated_ him. Of that she was certain. But the dream lingered. And this close to him it was almost as if she could taste the kiss.

Nezha for his part looked ready for the first punch. Did he think that she had come there to hurt him? To punish him? To unleash all the hatred she felt for him? To inflict as much pain as she could without killing him? Maybe torture was what he thought he deserved. Instead of considering any of this Rin slapped him, hard, across his good cheek. His face whipped to the side and his jaw clenched, yet he stayed quiet.

 _Why do you have to win?_ Raban had asked Rin, urging her to surrender to Nezha in what seemed like a lifetime ago. Much like Nezha himself wanted her to do now, probably. And it was such a different situation now but suddenly they were back at Sinegard, fighting in the tournament, and she could not let Nezha win. It was a battle of pride. All was reduced to the pounding of her heart as she threw herself with reckless abandon into hitting Nezha as hard as he had hit her, to hurt him as badly.

 _Because he thought he could get rid of me_.

Nezha turned back to look at her and meeting his eyes then and still feeling the uneasy of the dream, she picked a different fight.

"Did you know… that I thought that you were going to kiss me? That night?" _When you stabbed me in the back?_ He didn't say anything, didn't give anything away, so she pressed on. "But that was not the worst..." Rin took a small step closer to him, tracing his features, waiting for what would come next. "I _wanted_ it. I wanted you to kiss me."

And there it was. His eyes widening slightly, his eyebrows shooting up, his throat working to swallow, what? Shame? Regret? Whatever it was, there was no room for it inside of Rin. She looked at him impassively, not giving away the satisfaction she felt.

“Would you’ve done it? Could you do it _now_ if I asked?” Rin shrugged as if the answers didn't matter. “Did you _ever_ wanted it?”

She stayed quiet for a moment and watched, the questions were daggers thrown at him and every single one found its mark. But Rin should have known better than to let him gain momentum, to give him an opening to gain the offensive. Because to be on the defensive against Nezha was certain defeat.

 _And he’s the most dangerous when he’s desperate_.

Nezha took two fast steps to close the small distance and grabbed her neck, pulling her face to his. _No, no, no, no, she was going to kill him_. He pressed his lips hard against hers before she could get another word out. It knocked the fight right out of her. Rin’s hand was a fist against his chest, and yet she did not push him away. _Stupid_. So fucking stupid. His lips moved over hers and she hated how much she wanted to kiss him back. Instead, she got his lower lip between her teeth and bit hard enough to draw blood. Nezha pushed away hastily then, but it didn't feel like a victory when Rin saw his tongue tracing his lips as if savoring the taste of her. And having her taste mixed with his own blood didn't seem to bother him at all.

He insufferably grinned at her before stepping away, hands up in a mockery surrender. But somewhere in the back of Rin’s mind she was aware that a battle was still going on. Though she felt then that she had somehow already lost. Rin stood there, hands shaking, breath ragged. Fire slipped through hers fingers while Nezha watched her, daring her. She could, there was no water around them. He was at her mercy. And yet somehow she felt as if she had already lost.

In the dream, he had smiled while she pressed her lips over his. _I hate you_ , she had said with no real heat. He had laughed, saying, _sure you do_.

“Rin…” said Nezha, voice softer than before. The grin gone upon realizing his mistake, her reaction. He also never knew when to shut the fuck up.

She knocked him unconcious with a single blow. Left the cell as fast as she could. She practically ran to get away from him as fast as possible, but it would be long before she could forget the feel of his lips…

* * *

Thunder rumbled outside and flashing lights illuminated the night. It had been raining for hours. Across from her was Nezha, wrists bound behind his back, head resting against the wall. He could no longer disguise the defeat weighing on him and he finally looked tired for everyone to see, weeks of imprisonment taking a toll on him.

"Did you ask for me?" asked Rin.

“I did,” Nezha answered with a petulant edge on his voice. “A while ago. Have you been so busy that you could not spare some time for an old friend?”

“ _Fuck you_ ,” she fired at him and saw a grin spread on his mouth but before he could say anything ridiculous and disgusting she cut him off with the first thing that came to her mind. “Is it you? The rain?”

“I’m flattered.”

“Answer the fucking question.”

“No. It is not.” He looked away while answering her. “I’m not sure I can anymore.”

Rin scoffed, “I sure believe you.”

Nezha shrugged. He was not looking up at her anymore, he avoided her eyes now as if ashamed of what he had allowed the Hesperians to do to him. Rin was unsure of what she felt, disgust? Pity? Vindication? She thought of Sister Petra, a laugh bubbling up her throat. And then she thought of Nezha protecting her from the Dragon and the laughter died before coming out.

“You asked for me, is there anything you want?” Rin asked, eager to get this over with so she could leave. Being close to Nezha was too hard. It always brought too many things up to the surface that she did not want to think about. Besides, they were at war. There was no time for whatever this was.

 _We’re fighting a war. There’s never going to be a good time_.

Nezha closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking back at her.

“Yes,” he said, voice a whisper against the thunder outside. “You. _I want_ _you_ , Rin.”

She laughed, short, cold and bitter. He had to be fucking joking. But when Rin searched his face she saw nothing but a question there with his usual mix of petulance and condescension. He seemed sincere, but then Nezha had always seemed sincere in his affections for her until he put a knife on her back. He stayed quiet while she looked at him, evaluating in how many ways that could be a trick. She was going to fucking kill him. How dare he to try and use this against her? To use this after he kissed her here in this very place? For a second Rin saw red. The fucking audacity. He had no right. And she did not want him, so what was the matter? Unbidden her mind went to Souji and how she had thought then that maybe she could, she was certainly curious about it, maybe a few kisses would make no harm. Maybe sex would make her feel good.

But this was _Nezha_ and just the simple thinking about it already hurt. And she hated that it did. She hated how powerless she felt. Hated how even after everything her heart could still ache when she heard his voice.

Seeing her reluctance, he hastily went on, “I can’t stop thinking about you. The night you came here, I don’t know why you were here but I can’t get that kiss out of mind…”

Rin felt her resolve be replaced with a determination to make him feel as undone as he had made her with that kiss. Maybe she could make him beg for just one more. The thought of Nezha begging her was too good to let it slide. She opened the cell and walked inside cutting off whatever nonsense Nezha was saying about missing her. Fuck him. He didn’t get to tell her any of those things.

“ _Rin_ -“

She sat on his lap, effectively shutting him up. Nezha had a wild look on his face, as if he could not believe what was happening. For a second she did not know what to do, she looked at his eyes searching for an answer but he looked just as lost as she felt. A laugh escaped her, wasn’t he supposed to be the experienced one? Frustration crossed his features, and he pushed forward, tried to capture her lips with his but she backed away a little, just out of his reach. Nezha sighed and let his head fall against the wall again. He was breathing hard, his chest rising and falling fast and the motion caught Rin’s eyes. She placed her hand on his shirt and made it travel over his chest torturously slow. His own hands buckled against the chains. She could feel the muscles underneath, she could feel the beat of his heart. Unconsciously she moved her hips to adjust her legs and it rubbed over his groin, making Nezha groan. The sound stirred something inside her belly that she had very rarely felt before. It was unfamiliar, but it felt good.

The sound of chains rattling against stone snapped her out of it.

"Let me touch you," Nezha said, voice deep and husky, almost pleading. Not quite where she wanted yet, but she would make him.

Rin wanted him to pay, wanted him to suffer, she wanted to hurt him. Deny anything he asked for. She wanted him to want her so badly that he would beg for anything she could be willing to give him.

“You must really think I’m so fucking stupid to ask me that,” Rin said. “As soon as I set your hands free, you’ll be out of here. I can’t trust you and I don’t.”

“That’s not what I want to do with my hands,” was all Nezha said. He pushed away from the wall again and this time he almost caught her mouth, she turned just in time, another laugh bursting out. Nezha let his forehead rest against her cheek, he took a deep breath as if trying to inhale her scent to memory. “I think I prefer when you hit me bloody. It was easier than this.” His lips brushed her jawline.

Rin closed her eyes, her heart was pounding. It was so easy to fall into this, _into him_ , into whatever they had with each other, whatever she felt for him. And that was why she could not allow herself to. Her hand reached around his neck and Rin pushed him away from her, knocking his head against the wall. He winced and his breath caught when she closed the distance between them and stopped a breath away, her lips hovering over his.

“It’s good to know I can hurt you both ways,” her lips brushed his as she spoke.

“Then finish it,” Nezha said, his voice _finally_ pleading.

But the satisfation Rin was hoping for didn’t come. And struck by that realization, she got up and stepped away. Not wanting to let him see how much that had rattled her, Rin walked out of the cell and while she closed it, Nezha spoke again. So soft and low, Rin almost couldn’t hear it because of the storm outside.

“In my dreams you do it…”

* * *

Months had gone by before they were alone again. A mistake neither of them would ever be able to come back from, that’s what that was. For Rin’s part, she was never good in keeping her impulses on check…

The air around them crackled with energy. The space in the office was suddenly too small. What do you say as a goodbye to someone who used to be your friend? Someone who had tried to kill you? Someone who protected you? Who betrayed you? Someone you shouldn’t, but longed for still?

Without thinking much on it as to not change her mind, Rin closed the distance between them. Nezha braced for it right on time. The first punch split his bottom lip, the second became a series of hits on his chest, one more aimless than the next, without any real strength. Tears burned on her eyes, but Rin would be damned if she let Nezha see her cry. So she stepped away from him but because Nezha was stupid and never knew any better, he followed her. He pulled her into his arms, and that hurt her much more. Because even now after all of it she still longed for him. Her chest felt tight, something painful gnawed at her heart. Unthinking, her hand reached for the scarred side of his face. One time long ago, Rin had asked him if he would feel if she touched his scars and his answer had been no. But now, judging by his sharp intake of breath, it seemed like he did.

While Rin’s fingers traced the delicate pattern on his porcelain skin, Nezha held her gaze, not daring to say anything. When she started to pull her hand down, he held it with his own not letting her go. Nezha rested his forehead against hers and they stayed there like that for a moment that stretched for long, but not long enough.

With them it never seemed to be enough.

Rin looked up at Nezha's eyes, his beautiful and haunted almond eyes… She wanted to tell him then everything that she wished for, all the things that she wanted, and she also wanted to ask him what it was that _he_ wanted, but words never came. Nezha held her gaze though and it was as if he understood. A part of her pitied them for how repressed they were, all that want, all of those feelings, for so long... Rin remembered a time when they didn't held back, when they lashed at each other without as much as a thought. It had been a second nature, an impulse driven by hatred. And wasn’t hate another form of passion?

Nezha let out a tortured breath and Rin closed her eyes.

She opened it again a moment later when she felt his touch caressing her face, so lightly it was barely there. Nezha had his fingers tracing the faint scar on her cheek, then her lips, down to her collarbone. His hand stopped at Altan's handprint on her skin, his fingers trembling almost imperceptively. Nezha kept his hand there, hovering over the black mark on her skin, after a few seconds he swallowed back whatever it was that he wanted to say and Rin was grateful for it, she didn’t want to fight anymore. Instead, Nezha put his hand over her heart and left there for a moment, she did not want to confront that either so she took his hand and slowly pushed it down, his eyes met hers again and her breathing got quicker, shallow.

Suddenly the room was much hotter. The air around them changed. Was it the Phoenix’s fire burning inside of her or was it everything she felt?

She held his neck, fought the small impulse to push him away this time, and brought his lips to hers. And it was not gentle because she wanted to match the inferno raging inside of her. His lips were chapped, there was still a bit of dried blood and it didn't matter, it was good, so good. That was her first proper kiss. Nezha tasted good, his practiced lips teaching hers how to move. A little part of her brain wondered how many girls there was before her and then she told her brain to shut up because it didn’t matter. He was not hers and she was not his. But it felt so close to that right then, when he cupped her cheeks with both hands, when he tilted her head up to kiss her deeper, when one of his hands tangled in her hair. Rin decided she wanted to do the same so she placed her hand at the back of his head, felt the silky strands of his hair. Nezha smelled so fucking good. She tugged on his hair and he groaned against her mouth, stopping the kiss for a moment to walk them over to the table in the middle of the office.

Rin held the hem of her shirt to pull it without ceremony over her head at the same time that Nezha grabbed her waist and placed her over the table. Unfortunately, taking her clothes off with one hand was not so smooth and her elbow hit Nezha’s face.

“Tiger’s tits, Rin.”

She laughed then, a nervous bubble that burst out when she saw the look on his face.

“Fucking help, asshole,” Rin said, prompting Nezha to laugh as well and get to it. He was still smiling when she brought their lips together again. He didn’t stop kissing her while he took of her wrapping, the cold air peaking her niples, and then warmth when Nezha’s hands covered them with the care and precision of someone who must have imagined it countless of times. He pinched one nipple and she broke the kiss with a gasp.

Rin looked up at him, into his eyes, as if it had registered right then what was happening.

He took her face in both of his hands, then it slid down to her neck, her shoulders, his fingers met in the middle and it travelled all the way down her spine. When his hands circled her waist and went up on her sides, she knew what he was doing and sure enough he found the scar. Rin closed her eyes, she could not bear to hold his gaze. If he tried to say he was sorry for that, it would bring their stalemate to an end. His fingers stayed over her scar but he did not say anything, instead, he lowered his head and pressed a kiss against her right shoulder. Rin turned her head and captured his lips again.

It started out gentle but it lasted only a moment. They were both suddenly desperate, because they were aware now that it would end soon, too soon. And so Nezha held onto Rin, pressing his body into hers. Rin pushed him away.

“Take it off,” she demanded and he complied without question.

First his shirt and then his pants. And while Nezha undressed with impressive speed, Rin struggled to get her own pants off. She jumped out of the table and by the time she was finally naked, Nezha was standing over her waiting patiently. His breath shallow. Rin looked up at him, he was so tall, and swallowed. She had an idea of what was coming now. Aunt Fang had told her the first time was always the worst but the pain was no worry for Rin, she could handle it.

Nezha stepped even closer to Rin and it was her time to touch him, to have her hands map his body. He kissed her urgently, desperate, needy. Nezha pushed her against the table, grabbed her and set her on the surface again and with his body he pushed her down until she was laying flat on her back. His lips left her mouth and started to kiss her neck, down to her breasts. With one hand he took care of one and his mouth sucked the other. Rin wasn’t sure how she could breathe anymore. But that was nothing compared to when his hand reached down between her legs. Nezha groaned at the heat and wetness he found there.

“Fuck, Rin,” he didn't ellaborate and she took that as a good sign. His fingers spread her folds, touched her entrance before stopping. “Tell me what feels good, alright?”

Rin was not expecting that, couldn’t he just get to it?

“Just fuck me already!” she said without patience.

Nezha laughed and when Rin tried to push him off of her, he grabbed her neck with his right hand and kissed her hard, kissed her until she was breathless, until her body arched into his. Her heart felt so full and Rin cursed the thought that crossed her mind, bitting Nezha’s lower lip in retaliation. He didn’t know, but it was his fault regardless.

In return, he pushed one finger inside of her. Rin gasped at the intrusion and whatever Nezha saw on her face made him change his mind, because he took his finger out and got on his knees in front of the table, head between her thighs. Rin looked down at him and before she could ask what was going on, he pressed his mouth against her pussy. He spread her folds with his tongue, kissed, sucked, licked. Rin never knew it could feel like that. She could barely remember how to breathe. His tongue found a very sensitive spot and Rin yelped trying to get away from him because it was too much, Nezha had to push her back to the edge of the table, hold her hips down with his arm. He was smiling in that cocky way of his. And now that he found that spot, he was relentless.

Rin moaned so loud it should be embarrassing but she could not bring herself to care. Not when Nezha was still there, sucking and licking and adding a finger inside of her again. She was so wet, and out of breath and something was building inside of her. Rin reached down for his hair, holding onto to it and tugging harder than she should making him groan against her and the vibration sent a jolt of lightning through her body, arching it, and Nezha had to press her down harder to keep her still.

“ _Nezha_ …”

He looked up, their eyes met and her whole body trembled. The pressure inside snapped and she was moaning and trying to breathe, her eyes closed, her body still shaking even after Nezha had stopped. He got up while she tried to catch her breath and kissed her mouth, she kissed him back right away and tasted herself on his tongue. It was weird, but she liked it. Nezha stopped kissing her and looked down on her body spread over the table. His pale hand rested against her stomach. He sighed and met her eyes.

“You’re-“

“Don’t,” Rin replied with a warning on her voice.

“What? You’re the most-“

Not letting him finish, she jumped off the table and tackled him to the ground, falling on top of him. Nezha laughed hard and Rin cursed her thoughts again, cursed the erratic and fast beat of her heart. She straddled his waist, grabbing his neck with her hand and bringing him in for a kiss. When their lips touched, he was still smiling. The dream had been nothing compared to reality… The kiss was so gentle this time, Nezha took his time savoring her, pulling her ever closer to him. _I hate you_. She traced his jaw with her lips, kissed his neck, bit down on his shoulder making him shudder. _Sure you do_. Rin pushed him down on the floor, and her body chased his. Wandering hands and wandering lips. Soon the pressure was building inside of her again, and she could feel him between her legs. Hard and ready. Curiosity overtook her and she placed her hand on his cock. Nezha shuddered again and when she started to slowly explore his length, he held her hand to stop her.

“Rin, wait,” Nezha seemed at a loss of what to say and now was Rin’s turn to smile. “If you keep doing that I won’t last, I’ve waited too long for this, you’re fucking killing me.”

Rin sat up and he followed her, eyes locked on hers. Sitting right over him, she adjusted his cock against her entrance. Nezha drew in a deep breath, both hands holding her waist, the fingers pressing so hard it would leave marks. A question on his eyes that she answered by sinking down on him. There was a sharp pain, like a cut on her skin, and she hissed but it was nothing. It was not nearly as bad as she heard it could be. Maybe it was different for every person, or maybe she was too used to pain. No matter, the pain very soon changed to a fullness that was alien and exciting. Without thinking she clenched her walls and Nezha moaned loudly.

“ _Rin_ ,” Nezha’s eyes were dark, breath coming out in shallow pants. His hands slid down to her hips and he pressed tight to try and stop her from moving. It looked like he was in pain.

“You’re okay?” asked Rin, amusement on her voice.

Nezha nodded curtly. “Yeah, no, I’m good… Just give me a minute.”

Rin didn’t understand exactly why they needed to stop, but she stayed still anyway. She took advantage of that time to look at him. Nezha was so beautiful, always had been. His porcelain skin, his dark silky hair, his almond eyes. Standing over him naked, Rin could see all the scars hidden across his body. She wondered how many she was responsible for. Nezha was looking at her and Rin didn’t want to meet his eyes, the intensity and emotion there scared her, especially because she was afraid he would find in her eyes the same. And so she placed her hand over his chest, much like he had done earlier to her, she closed her eyes for a few seconds, counted the fast beats of his heart. Moving up she traced with the tip of her fingers the dragon tattoo on the span of his shoulders. Nezha shuddered out a breath and Rin opened her eyes, meeting his. It was too much, it was a mistake. And before he could say anything, she kissed him. Before Rin herself could say anything stupid. He kissed her back, and his hands released the pressure letting her know that she could move. And so she did.

If Rin thought it had felt good before when Nezha had used only his mouth, it was nothing compared to the fire raging inside of her now. She didn’t have any experience and so she followed her instincts, chasing what her body asked for, going by the response Nezha gave her. Soon, both of them had a hard time breathing or keeping quiet. Nezha claimed her mouth and kissed her so hard it branded her. _She was burning_. So that was how it felt like… His hands where everywhere, and then his fingers deftly found that spot again and Rin couldn’t hold herself over him, legs shaking around his waist. Nezha turned them, laying her body on the ground, spreading her legs farther apart and going deeper, faster, harder.

“ _Fuck_ , Rin,” said Nezha, voice cracking.

Rin was so close to that edge again and she could see how close Nezha was to that same edge, and suddenly she wanted desperately to push him so she rolled them over, standing on top of him, locking his eyes on hers. Nezha’s mouth went slack at the sight of her straddling him, a look of pure reverence on his eyes. When she started to move again, a _whine_ escaped his lips. He was at her mercy and Rin found she quite enjoyed that. It felt too good, he felt good between her legs, looking at her like she was a god, moaning her name like a prayer.

“Rin, I’m gonna-“ Nezha tried to sit up and pull her out of his cock, but Rin was having none of that. It didn’t matter anyway. She pushed him down and rode his orgasm, feeling him spill inside of her. He moaned and shuddered underneath.

Nezha was completely undone, eyes closed, his chest rising and falling fast beneath her hand. She went down to capture his lips and he kissed her back immediately, bringing her body as close to his as possible. Rolling them over, his hands touching her anywhere he could. She ran down her nails on his shoulder blades, crossing over the dragon tattoo with her own mark. Nezha groaned against her lips and she smiled. His fingers went down and started to work on her, pressing circles on that spot and Rin was so close, so close. When he added his fingers, she couldn’t keep the moan from escaping her mouth.

Nezha’s lips found her ear. “Let go, Rin… Come for me, _sweetheart_ ,” he whispered.

The fucking audacity. Rin was going to kill him. He licked her earlobe and her body spasmed, his fingers working harder and she fell apart. Gasping and moaning, Rin’s whole body was shaking. She grabbed at his neck, needing to hold onto to something. Hold onto him.

When she came down from the high, she looked at him. Nezha was laying down by her side, looking at her as if trying to commit to memory every one of her reactions. It surprised her that he did not had that cocky smile of his playing on his lips. Nezha reached out with his right hand and touched her hair, taking it out of her eyes. The move was so familiar it tugged something at her heart. They stayed there on the floor with no hurry to get up and leave. In an unspoken agreement, neither wanted to be the one to leave first. Neither wanted to break the moment because as soon and the spell was broken, the small truce in which they found themselves in would never return.

Rin finally let herself consider the thought that had been crossing her mind for a very long time… _But you don’t know how to love_ , she told herself. _But you've never believed in it_.

And yet. And yet.

**Author's Note:**

> I guess we're coping with smut lol which is something alright because I never write smut so here goes my apology for whatever this is and also for any mistakes because english is not my first language. Hope you enjoy!


End file.
